


i'll never leave

by fairytalebarnes



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-23 01:27:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20883902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairytalebarnes/pseuds/fairytalebarnes
Summary: the final battle with pennywise with a little bit more reddie and an alternate ending





	i'll never leave

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this before but i wanted to add some more detail and sad parts (pls don't hate me) so here we are!
> 
> don't forget to let me know what you think

The last thing he remembers properly is yelling at Pennywise. Eddie was standing close by his side as always, the way it was meant to be. A comment about being a ‘sloppy bitch’? That rings a bell in his head. But he was lifted into the air and he was frozen in place.

The deadlights.

That’s what it was. He was experiencing the exact same thing that Bev did all those years ago. And he couldn’t look away; there was no way to escape. He couldn’t hear the cries from his friends, he couldn’t see the worried looks on their faces as they desperately looked between each other trying to find a way to save him. He just saw lights. And then he saw Eddie. But Eddie looked different, he looked pale, and there was blood on his face. **‘It’s just trying to scare me’ **Richie thought. **‘Nothing bad is going to happen’**. And he repeated that to himself a few times. **‘Nothing bad at all’**.

Meanwhile, Eddie was scared. No, Eddie wasn’t scared, he was terrified. Richie was fucking floating in the air in front of him and It was getting closer. Scared was an understatement, but he knew that he had to do something. He clutched the weapon that Bev gave him tighter in his hand. His fingers were aching from gripping it so hard. **‘Get it together Eds’** he whispered to himself. **‘You’re braver than you think’**. He repeated those words, the words that Richie had spoken to him not long before. And those words stuck with him. Not just because they were the first serious words Eddie can ever remember coming out of Richie ‘trashmouth’ Tozier’s mouth, but because he meant it. It was genuine. He had overcome so much, and he **was** brave. No one could tell him any different. He knew there was only one thing he could do. **This thing kills monsters if you believe it does. **And then he was throwing it. It hurtled through the air and it hit Pennywise straight in the mouth. He was shrinking – he fell back onto a giant spike – and Eddie felt the biggest rush of relief come over him. **I’ve done it**.

Richie. He watched him fall to the ground – out of the hands of evil. Eddie rushed over to him and saw that he still hadn’t woken up. He leaned over Richie’s body, brushing a strand of hair out of his face and grabbing his hand in his own. “Rich?”. Nothing. “Richie, I did it! I killed It”. He gripped Richie’s hand a little tighter, just how he had done with his ‘monster killer’. That thing really does kill monsters.

A gasp escaped Richie’s lips as he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Eddie. Of course. Eddie was there, a concerned look on his face and his hand on his own. He squeezed Eddie’s hand as a sign of reassurance – a reminder that everything is going to be okay. “Eds?” Richie didn’t have a good grasp of reality right now. He needed Eddie to-. Well, he just needed Eddie.

“Hey Rich” Eddie smiled down at him and Richie swore he couldn’t possibly fall in love with this man any more. “You awake? Are you with me?”. He cupped Richie’s cheek with his free hand, not daring to remove his other from Richie’s own. He wasn’t going to let him go. “You’re gonna be okay Rich, it’s over”. Richie tried to sit up slightly, he turned his face to the right to see Bill and Mike standing there. They looked in shock. It was a mixture of shock and relief; makes sense under the circumstances.

“Hey, don’t try and sit up, I’ve got you” Eddie spoke in a gentle whisper. He was taking care of him. Richie squeezed his hand again.

But despite the seemingly happy situation they were in, It was dead after all, he felt unsettled. Something didn’t quite seem right. It was almost as if everything had happened **too **easily. The calm before the storm. And that only meant one thing-

“Ed’s we’ve gotta move” Richie spoke. He tried to yell but it came out as more of a desperate whimper. He uttered Eddie’s name one last time before it happened. Eddie was blissfully unaware of the tragic fate that was about to unfold. Eddie was stabbed. And not like when Bower’s stabbed him in the cheek, a wound that was cleaned and covered up and left to heal. This was much worse. Richie’s scream echoed through the sewer as some of Eddie’s blood splattered onto his own glasses. He watched in agony as the love of his life was being flung around the cavern, before being thrown like he was nothing. But he wasn’t nothing. He was everything.

Richie was the first to his feet, scrambling to reach Eddie. **This is bad. This is really bad**. He instantly wrapped his arms around Eddie, laying there helpless, clinging onto life. **This can’t be how it ends. **The others were not far behind him, filing into the small gap and plotting their escape. Richie blocked out the sounds of their voices. He didn’t care. Eddie was dying. **Eddie was dying. Fuck Richie, stop being such a pessimist, he’s going to be fine.** Eddie was barely able to speak, the unimaginable pain coursing through his body. He looked to Richie who appeared as pale as a ghost. He had a million things he wanted to say to the man in front of him. He didn’t know how much time he had left, but he also wanted to say those things when he was alone with Richie. Did it make him selfish? Was he going to be the idiot that never got to express his true feelings because he was too stubborn to admit it when the others were there? He couldn’t let that happen.

It did, however, seem as though luck was on Eddie’s side **(fucking finally)** because Richie was pulling him to one side, carrying the majority of his weight as they staggered over to a piece of flat ground where Richie laid Eddie down. The others had a plan, but none of that mattered right now. What mattered was Richie. What mattered was the truth.

Richie was as careful as possible as he laid Eddie down. He was on the floor next to him, one hand resting behind his head, propping him up slightly, the other hand finding Eddie’s fingers and intertwining them with his own once again. It was such a natural instinct for them. It was as natural as eating, as sleeping. It was as natural as breathing. Being close to Eddie, it was like Eddie was his oxygen. “Hey you” Richie spoke. It almost felt pathetic to him. All his life, if he was faced with a serious situation, he didn’t acknowledge it. He’d make some shitty joke and move on as if it never happened. But this certainly wasn’t the right occasion for that. His attempt made Eddie smile though. “You think we’re gonna make it out of here?”. It was a serious question. He didn’t know how bad Eddie really was, he just knew it looked very bad. Maybe he was okay enough to make it out. They could get him help.

“I don’t know about you buddy, but I think I’m stuck down here” Eddie replied softly. He watched the way Richie’s face dropped, the pain and confusion in his eyes. “That’s not true Eds. We’re all getting out of here, I promise you. I swear I will do anything it takes to get you out of here. Anything”. Tears had gathered in his eyes now, but he was refusing to let them fall. Because if he let them fall then Eddie would know that he didn’t believe a word he was saying. Not one fucking word of it. This was the end for them. And it wasn’t fair.

They could hear the voices of their friends now. They were yelling and something was happening. Pennywise was shrinking before their eyes. **Come on. The sooner this is over, the sooner we can get Eddie out of here and to safety**. Eddie was struggling to breathe. He was struggling and he pulled Richie closer in a final attempt to show his affection. He needed Richie to understand. “Rich” he managed to whisper. Richie rubbed his thumb over Eddie’s hand. “It’s okay Ed, I’m right here. Not going anywhere. Don’t worry”. Richie was panicking now. He’d been panicking the whole time but now the panic had taken over his whole body. He can’t remember ever feeling this much rage. This much sadness.

“Rich, I love you”.

Four words. Four words and Richie was frozen. Not the kind of frozen like when he got caught in the deadlights. Frozen because for once in his life, he was so surprised that he didn’t know what to say. He placed a soft kiss on Eddie’s forehead, then one on his cheek before pulling away. “Eds I- I’m going to be right back okay. Stay with me”. He was running. He was running to his friends. And just like that, it was all over.

They did it. They defeated Pennywise. **It was all over**. They looked around, taking in the moment. Then Richie broke the silence. “Eddie”. They immediately rushed over to their friend, lying on the ground. They crouched down beside him. But they knew.

“Eds, wake up, I told you to stay with me Eds, come on. It’s over. He’s really dead this time, come on”

Richie’s whole body began to shake. “Richie” Bev held her arm out and placed it on his shoulder. “Rich he’s gone”. Richie looked up at Bev and the others. They were shaking their heads. “Honey, we’ve gotta get out of here”. He heard another voice speak after Bev, he thinks it was Mike, but he couldn’t make out any words. Everything was blurring. He couldn’t think properly. “No, no” Richie shouted. “He’s okay, he’s gonna be okay. We just need to get him help. Come on Eds”

The others were worried now. They knew they didn’t have much longer before the entire place had collapsed. They had to leave before it was too late. “Richie, we need to leave”. That was Ben. He was already starting to take steps backwards. His concern right now was getting himself and Beverly to safety.

Bill grabbed onto Richie’s arm. He was ready to drag Richie out of there, kicking and screaming if he had to. He couldn’t bare the thought of losing another friend. “But I can’t- I can’t leave him. **We** can’t leave him. Not down here. Not on his own. We just can’t”. Richie was crying now. He was crying and shouting. He knew they didn’t have much time left; he wasn’t delusional. He knew that if the others didn’t get out now, they wouldn’t make it. In that moment, he made his decision.

Bill was still holding onto his arm, so Richie took Bill’s hand in his own and squeezed it tight. “Go” he said. “Get out of here. I can’t leave him”

“Rich” Beverly said. She was crying now. “We can’t go without you”

“Yes. Yes you can. Get out of here now before its too late. I can’t leave him here on his own. I- “he was going to say **I love him,** but he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell them when he hadn’t even told Eddie. “I know” Bill said, looking into his eyes. “I know”. He held Richie’s hand tighter. “I love you, Rich”

“I love you too” Richie replied. He was holding Eddie’s hand now. “I love all of you. Now go. I’m not gonna be the reason you all die down here”. They turned around reluctantly, each looking back to say a final goodbye to Richie and Eddie. They couldn’t believe they were letting him stay down there – but if they didn’t leave, they would all die.

Richie waited until they were out of sight before he broke down. He wrapped his arms around Eddie, and he sobbed. He couldn’t stop. “I’m so sorry Eds. I should have never left you. I’m so so sorry”. He placed his hand on Eddie’s cheek, a gesture he had repeated not long ago. He had told Eddie that he was brave. And that was true. Eddie was one of the bravest people he’d ever met, if not, the bravest.

“I love you Eds. Did you know that? Yeah, I love you. I’ve loved you since we were kids. Maybe you knew already. I guess you knew because I don’t think you would have confessed anything to me if you weren’t sure I felt the same. I guess I was never any good at hiding it. I don’t think words can describe how much I love you. That’s the reason I couldn’t leave you here alone. Fuck, why did this happen? I told you everything was going to be okay but look where we are. It’s not okay Eds. And I never got a chance to tell you any of it. I let you confess that you love me. It was the last thing you ever said, and I didn’t have the decency to tell you I love you back. I was so angry Eds. I had to kill It for what It did to you. I let my anger take control of me and I’m sorry. I was being selfish. We could have both got out of here together. Imagine that. You and me. That’s how it always was. Just the two of us. Even when we were with the others. I dreamed about you and me together. You’d probably laugh at me for admitting that, but I did. I’ll never forget you Ed. I love you, okay. Don’t you ever forget that. I love you Eddie Kaspbrak. More than anything”

The tears were falling from his eyes faster and faster. He couldn’t control it. He didn’t have much time left. This was it. He positioned himself laying next to Eddie, still holding his hand. If Richie had to die, at least he was with Eddie, together for one last time. He closed his eyes and thought about Eddie. All the moments he would never forget. Not even death could take those memories from him.

He could hear the world collapse around him. Just before the rubble covered him completely, he opened his eyes and looked at the love of his life one last time.

And with his last breath he spoke “I love you Eds. And I always will”

**Author's Note:**

> as much as i love writing fluff, i also love writing sad stuff (i'm sorry!!!!)
> 
> i was thinking of also doing one similar to this but where eddie survives so watch out for that i guess :)


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